


Not Ready to Say Goodbye

by Leons_Driving



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Piers Nivans Lives, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 08:47:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14973482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leons_Driving/pseuds/Leons_Driving
Summary: There's talks of a unknown group dealing with B.O.W's in the black market and the BSAA tasks Chris and Jill to investigate but what starts out as a simple mission quickly becomes personal - and has Chris struggling with himself and everyone around him.(used to be titled promises)





	Not Ready to Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: Claire replaced with Jill at the end of this chapter.

At the office again. Papers were stacked not so neatly on a desk in a dimly lit room, the only light was radiating softly from a small desk lamp focused on the current task at hand. Chris Redfield knew he was getting to old for this job. Or maybe bored. He let out a tired sigh as he scratched the back of his head in a feeble attempt to stay awake. His brown eyes glanced up at the clock on the wall above the doorway across from his desk. **_9:45_**. He was growing more tired as each minute passed. Maybe if he started these sooner he’d be finished at least by midnight and maybe catch a recap of that football game everyone was so excited about.

Chris let out a yawn and just stared at the reports, unfocused.  Another day with too much shit on his mind. He already knew he wasn't going to get anything done at this rate. Chris dropped the pen on his desk and leaned back in his chair.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow was July 1st. It’s been, what, 4 or 5 years? Chris tried not to keep track. He would force himself to forget on purpose. But his heart remembered every year as if it were yesterday. Chris remembered every single one of his men that he lost. But Piers Nivans was different. Maybe because so many things were left unsaid. Maybe because he knew what was and what used to be and they were both too afraid to go back. Maybe tomorrow was just a reminder of how much of a coward and idiot Chris always was. He had promised himself that if he survived he was going to tell Piers everything. He was going to apologize and just get everything he felt off his chest. He should've said it sooner. Now he has to live with words that were never spoken. He'd never know how the other man felt. Chris wouldn't have cared if Piers didn't feel the same, he had just wanted him to know.

He confessed to an empty grave instead.

Chris’s phone beeped, alerting him to a text, most likely his sister. She always had an amazingly scary sixth sense, as if she knew Chris was wallowing in his thoughts.

Chris grabbed his PDA off the desk.

 

_Mind if I stop by? I haven't eaten yet so I'll be raiding your fridge as usual._

 

This was Claire's way of checking up on him. She never liked to leave him alone on days like this.

Chris glanced up at the time on the screen. _11:10._ Self pity sure took up a lot of time he thought to himself. He sighed and typed back.

 

_I'll order some Chinese._

_Yay! I'll be there in 20 :)_

 

Chris ordered the usual and some extra because he knew he was absolutely not going to cook tomorrow. Claire came with a bag of goodies and insisted on renting a movie. Chris couldn't stop the small smile forming on his face. Claire was constantly checking up on her brother, especially after China. It seemed that their roles had switched at some point. Chris chuckled at the thought of his little sister becoming the motherly figure now.

They watched an old noir movie, it mostly proved as background noise as they were both technically still working, tapping on their PDAs in comfortable silence. Half the time the younger sibling was just sending him ridiculous memes that would make the other chuckle.

Claire was pleasant company, company Chris didn't know he desperately needed.

 

\--

 

Of course this day was a gloomy day, both metaphorically and literally. It's as if the heavens were also heavy with sorrow and would rain at any moment. Chris drove silently to the cemetery where the Nivans family wished to have Piers buried. No radio, just the sound of the car humming and light rapping of the rain on the roof as he drove. Claire had asked to come along but Chris wanted to be alone. She didn't insist, something he was grateful for.

Chris pulled up to the side of the road of the cemetery and shut off the engine. He stared at the steering wheel for a while, lost in thought. He thought he'd be used to it by now, visiting the graves of his fallen soldiers. He felt guilt. A normal feeling, his therapist had said once. Thoughts from the past were a usual occurrence. He remembered the countless funerals he attended that year alone. He remembered how Claire held his hand the entire time, being the anchor he needed. He remembered having to tell the family of each one of his squadmates. He remembered having to hold Piers’s mother in his arms when she collapsed. She didn't have to hear the news. She simply knew the moment she opened the door and her son wasn't there. The memories haunted almost everyday.

Chris let out an audible sigh and grabbed the bouquet of flowers he had resting on the passenger seat, got out of his car and made his way to Piers’s grave.

Elli, Piers's older sister was already there. She was always there first. She turned her head over when she heard Chris's footsteps approaching. She greeted him with a small smile.

“Hey, big guy,” her voice was soft. She looked so eerily similar to her brother they were practically identical if it weren't for her long hair and soft feminine features. Her hazel eyes were gentle while Piers were more focused and determined.

They hardly ever saw each other but Chris and Elli always kept in touch, mostly through email.

Chris returned her smile. Elli noticed the flowers in his hands. “Those were his favorite.”

Chris looked down at bouquet of Primroses as he recalled one of the few good memories.

“We were out on a mission once in Europe. Along the side of the road we were walking across were tons of these guys. All different shades and colors. Piers just stops what he's doing a grabs a handful of them. Before I could even ask him he just looks at me with this smile and says, my mom loves these! and then gets all serious again and is like sir. His face was so red after.”

Ella let out small laugh, something that Chris needed to lighten the mood. He continued to gaze at the flowers in his hands. They were the prettiest shade of blue.

“He was super homesick that day,” Chris started as he walked over past Elli to place them on the gravestone. He knelt down and rested them beside the other arrangements that were already there, signs of other family members and loved ones had already paid their respects. ”When we got back to base I picked up a bunch and told him to send them to your mom. That day he told me his favorites were the blue evening.”

Elli placed a hand on Chris's shoulder and squeezed lightly. They were silent for some time, the only sound was the occasional summer breeze rustling the trees.

 

\--

 

_The air smelled fresh after the rainfall. It was extremely refreshing and it was well deserved after a warm day. Chris was flabbergasted when he couldn't find a single flower shop that sold primroses. It was actually a common flower but they only sold the seeds. Turned out the best place to find them was at a hardware store. In pots._

_Chris bought 10 different variants._

_Piers seemed unfocused and distant after finding those flowers. He missed his mom. Chris deduced that his friend was homesick. And Chris wanted to remedy that. He had gotten looks from his squadmates as he walked through base with them but none would dare question the Captain._

_Chris entered the barracks and luckily everyone else was busy doing whatever else. Piers was sitting up in his cot, reading as usual. Chris almost couldn't control his laughter when the lieutenant saw him standing at the doorway with a bunch of flower pots in his arms and face turned almost as red as a beet._

_“Before you say anything, you seemed homesick so I thought I’d bring home to you,” Chris said a little too proudly._

_“Captain… if I may?”_

_“Go ahead.”_

_“What the hell. Sir.”_

_“What, you don't like them?”_

_“No! I mean yes! I-I mean…” Piers was getting flustered. Chris couldn't help thinking how adorable he was._

_Adorable. god. did he really just think Piers was being adorable?_

_“Thank you… Captain,” he finally managed to say as he took a few of the flowers from Chris’s arms, his cheeks still red. “Problem is where to put then now.”_

_“We could place a few around the base? You could send some to your mom?”_

_Piers glanced up from the flowers for a second to look at Chris. Chris's stomach suddenly felt like it had a hundred butterflies in it. Uh oh._

_“Around the base sounds like a good idea.”_

_So that's exactly what they did, spending the rest of the day finding spots to place flower pots. They chose places that Piers frequented and also had great sunlight._

_The last one the lieutenant decided to keep nearby, at the closest windowsill in the barracks._

_They were such a pretty color of royal blue with the brightest yellow in the center. It was such a lovely contrast, pleasing to the eye._

_“That one's called blue evening,” Chris heard Piers say as he was watering them with a Styrofoam cup. “They're my favorite. Mom has a small patch of them in her garden.”_

_Piers turned his head to look at his captain with a smile so genuine it made Chris's heart melt. “Thanks, captain.”_

_Chris was sure as hell he was feeling something. It started to scare the shit out of him._

 

\--

 

Chris's phone went off, waking him from his nap on the couch. He rubbed his face with his hand before reaching across to the coffee table covered with old Chinese take-out from the night before to grab his phone.

“Yeah,” he answered tiredly.

“Hey, Chris,” came Jill's voice though the phone. “I know this isn't the best time, but we got some info on that group.”

That group was only known as X at the moment and currently their activities were only rumors. At first the BSAA didn't believe there was a bioterror group in the works. Usually it was just people just selling whatever they could get their hands for cash. But Chris had a strong feeling there was definitely another group out there. If Tri-Cell and Neo-Umbrella existed, others can too. He had enough experience to know that usually if his gut told him there was something up then there was probably something up and no one would question him.

Chris tried to stifle a yawn. “Is it enough to send out a team?”

“It's enough to send _us_ out.”

“Huh. Alright, boss, what do you got for me.”

“We've been alerted to some activity in South America. It seems someone paid a group to transport infected tissue and B.O.W.s from China to South America. Someone got too curious and let out their cargo, almost infecting the entire crew. The two that survived are currently being questioned by our guys and the rest are taking care of clean up. They don't have a name of the people who paid them but it was a large sum of money. They were supposed to take the cargo to a small village and just leave it there. A local told us there was a truck picking up unmarked boxes for the past two months and transporting off road.”

“So our job is to go out there, investigate, retrieve data and if there's any B.O.W.s dispose of them. Yeah, I know the drill.” Chris finally let out an audible yawn. He was so tired.

“Anything you need me to do before we head out?”

“Forward whatever you can to Rebecca. I'm sure whatever we're missing she'll see it.”

“You got it. And... I'm sorry.”

“For what?”

“I honestly didn't want to bother you...today.”

“It's part of the job Jill. Besides…” Chris paused. He looked over at the small flower pot he had on the center of the coffee table. Blue with a kiss of yellow in the center.

 

_“I'm sorry… captain.  I did for the BSAA… For the future!”_

 

“This is what would have wanted.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed it. After 8 years not writing fanfiction, I hope I did okay. Next chapter will be an action-y chapter hopefully and the rating might change depending on the graphic nature of the next chapter.


End file.
